“It wasn’t me!” and other children’s lies

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I just walked in the kitchen to find little J ,4 years old, with a broken cup in his hand; in fact the half of it- the other half was on the floor. “It wasn’t me!”, he said with a little angel’s face. What do you think had happened?

Every lie has its purpose.

And in every  lie lies a hidden message ,waiting to be decoded.

What can we do when our child lies ?

1) Don’t get mad !

Remember that a child often tells us what he thinks we want to listen. Maybe he wants to hear from us that sometimes it is ok to be wrong or do something unintentionally wrong.

2)Don’t punish the truth!

If he thinks that telling the truth leads to mommy being angry or his punishment, he will try to evoke to speak the truth.

3)Clean up the mess!

Focus on the action, not the story, We must make it right, and make the child understand to be more careful next time

4)Be a role-model yourself!

Maybe it’s allright to lie about Santa Claus (what do you really think?), but if you are a compulsive liar and the child see through you, it wil not be easy to teach him to tell the truth

5)Protect the feelings, but be honest.

«I know you are sad/unhappy because you broke the cup, but you must deal with the consequenses-clean up, buy another cup etc.

Do you think you can handle the truth? Or how else do you cope with their little – or bigger lies?

Comment your insights and share your experience!

 

About communication

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The basic meaning of the word communicate is to “have something in common with someone”. Through the process of communication, parents and children express their needs, desires, worries and also their love and affection for each other. In order to have good relationships, we need effective communication.

Communication can be both passive and active.

Passive is the art of listening.Through the silence of listening, the parent helps the child find his way through his problems and discover new solutions.

In the active communication, the parent reflects the message of the child and creates a bridge of connection and negotiation. In this process, the parent uses the first person (I..) instead of the second (you..) which is less imperative. The parent communicates the message of what he feels (eg I feel sad when you do X), rather than imposing the child of a certain feeling (You should be ashamed that You make feel Z)

It is difficult;it needs practice, persistance and patience. But it is certainly worth it.

Which do you think are the obstacles of a good communication? I’d like to hear your opinion in the comments!

Why bother with parental tips/e-books?

 

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With the immersion of the Internet, the information dispersed is by multiple times bigger than in the old years. However, knowledge is Power,and thus, the more Knowledge, the more Power

Personally, as a parent, I have studied a lot, about

-how to make children listen

-how to make children to be listened

-how to grow responsible & kind children

-how after all this, parenting will be easy and parents will have free time for themselves

As for children, routines are also helpful for parents.I think we should all try the best tips and techniques. Parenting is something that can be taught and practiced, and as time goes by it evolves; thus  we must keep up with frequent updates

That’s why someone should bother about it!

 

First tips for better parents

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The 3 basic tips for better parenting

If you have young children, you know exactly what it takes to be a good parent. Here are the basics for newcomers and not only

1)Patience. Being  the mother of two young children, 4 and 7 years old, I think that being patient reserves you much more energy than you can imagine. If you wait a little before you react to the stimulus, you can win the case without much effort

2)Consistence. If you say one thing today and the opposite tomorrow you won’t make it very far. Staying solid at your beliefs, teaches the child that he cannot always have it his way; and thus must learn to adjust.

3)Love. Making your little ones believe that you actually love them can help you convince them that your actions is for their best interest. Love makes miracles.

Try, practice and repeat and then you can move on to the next steps!