“Mom! School sucks and I don’t want to go again!”
Is this the phrase you are afraid to hear from your little student? And you don’t know how to convince him to go again?
When I was a little girl,
my mom sent me to school and didn’t ask me how I was doing. Or at least I don’t remember.
I just know that this September my second son will go to elementary school. But I am not so stressed this time because it is my second time. My first time was 3 years ago when my little Maria went to elementary school. Did she have stress?I didn’t know what was in her mind. And I think that if I had asked her, she would just get upset “why does my mother worry”?”is it going to be something horrible?” or “is it so difficult?”
I remember when Maria went to the 1st class of elementary I was worried because she was going to different school than her kindergarten and was a shy girl. Would she get any friends?Would she be sad because she didn’t have her old friends? Luckily for me, I had met with an old friend of mine whose daughter would be classmate with Maria; and when the girls met at the school yard they just were happy to sit together
As the teacher later told me, it’s more difficult for a working parent to socialize with parents of their offspring’s classmates, but it is really vital. Not only you learn what;s going on at school, but you also get to know things that your child wouldn;t want you to know, eg when the did something wrong, or even if your child has friends or is being bullied. My daughter, for example, returned from school every day. My classic question:“how was school today honey?” was answered by the typical “Oh, everything OK”, Several months later, I met one of her classmate’s mother, who seemed to know everything about their day; what they ate, whom they played with; and so she told me she could understand why her daughter was angry or sad .
One day I went to school to take Maria home. She saw me coming in front of the door and ran towards me with an angry look, threw her bag on me and didn’t talk to me. When I asked her again “what’s wrong honey?” she told me ” It’s all your fault!” Well, It was not my fault! When she refused to tell me what was the problem, I reached for her classmate’s mother. She already knew that Maria and two other classmates had argued about who was going to play with who, and when they left Maria out of the game, she was furious. But, she didn’t tell her friends something, she just let it out on me.
Lesson learned #1: Use all possible resources for information; be it the classmates, their parents, the teacher. Even the janitor may have a useful information if he knows whose parent you are. You cannot expect from the child to tell you everything, all the whole truth. You must cross check everything, in order to make the best decisions.
Lesson learned #2: Give space to your child to see how it reacts without your interference. It goes without saying that you will be by his side, especially in the first days, but children have their own rules and may figure out their problems without your messing all the time. This will also give them the confidence to make things work at school. Be there to praise and encourage, as mentioned in my previous post:the-top-20-praise-phrases-you need to -remember
and things will work out fine. Eventually….
Do you have a similar story to share? Or some useful idea to add?Reply in the comments section. Please, I want to hear from you!