Mommy, I don’t want to study now!(or ever?)

And now it’s time to study…

 

             There are some kids that are eager to finish their studies right after school, and there are some kids that will not finish until it’s very late, you are very tired and he is very tired and it’s all a tiresome chore. We, as parents,should help our children develop better study habits and skills. But the roles must be clear :The child studies, the parent solves questions or checks the child.  

               I believe that it is very important to start from the younger ages. As a new parent, I used to let my firstborn daughter rest, relax, play before she started studying. As you can imagine this was not the best thing to do, because I now (at 5th grade) keep reminding her to stop playing and start studying. Luckily, I had a better case with my second child, which even though he is younger (2nd grade) chooses to study right after school, even on Fridays, so that he can play all afternoon -or weekend. Of course, all children are not the same, but balance must be set. School is a priority.

              Another problem I have when I try to tell my children to study, is their same agony :Why do I have to study? I personally try to tell them all the benefits of studying, succeeding in getting to university and find the job of your dreams. That may be a bit utopian, so if I see that they don’t “buy” it, I turn the question to them: Why does your friend (who is a good student) study so much?Or ask them to choose their favorite lesson and make them realise why this lesson is fun( at least sometimes).

                We should not forget that rigorous studying can have negative association with the whole meaning of studying. Research has shown that taking a break is essential to higher productivity, energy, concentration, efficiency, creativity, and just about every other good thing that you need to survive. The frequency of your break depends, too, on what you’re doing. Mathematical tasks are very different from emailing, which is different from writing. It goes without saying that taking a break does not mean sit at the computer or laptop. Make sure that their eyes are properly rested and when you can, spend some time outdoors.

                If your child wants to study in a particular way, to make it fun, then do just that. If they don’t mind, or they simply don’t want to study, it is still good to suggest ideas that might catch their attention. When we study History (yes ,unfortunately, I still study with her),I record my daughter’s voice with a voice reacorder (the cell phone), and then make her listen to herself (at least this way, I don’t have to read to her!)

               Studying should be something children do as a habit, but until we reach that point (internal reward system), some external reward system could help them study. Of course, you should find something that the child wants, otherwise the “bribe” will not serve its purpose. Moreover, you should explain how the system works and stick to it. There many things you can choose but the main roads are two:

  • Either tell your child that if they study, they will get a reward
  • OR tell your child that if they DON’T study, they will Not get something

Most important of all, help your children, but do not let them rely on you completely for the answers. Be patient, positive, and tolerant.As they get older and more independent, you should let them build their own routine and study system.

What do you do when your child denies to study? Do you help along or have another way to cope with this situation? Share your ideas in the comment section!

 

 

 

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