As mentioned in my previous post /about-communication/, our communication with the children can be passive or active. In order to be effective, we need to recognise the obstacles that we may face during our efforts. And after the recognition, we must try to get over them. Here some of them, that also apply for our communication among adults, but are even more important when we try to communicate with children.
1.Orders :“Mommy said you must do X,and there is no other way!”
This kind of communication imposes the child with the view, that his needs or feelings are not important.
2.Threats : “If you don’t act like this, I will punish you!” This kind of communication does not give the child the opportunity to answer or say his opinion, and may lead to guilt or anger
3.Labeling : “Oh, you are so stupid,so fat,so…” And,thus, the child may get trapped within the character we create for him and may not react
4.Interrogation :“Tell me Right Now..Don’t tell me lies..” This kind of approach, doesn’t bring trust within the parent and the child, and the child tries to defend himself and not communicate
5.Interpretation : “I am sure I know what you mean…”This attitude does not help the child tell how he feels or what he means, because the parent already doesn’t want to listen.
When we are eager, sincere and want to listen better than be listened we give the child the opportunity to communicate effectively.Our main goal should be to help the child trust us and tell us his true feelings, so that we may help him with a problem and maintain our good relationship for the years to come.
What do you think? What would you add as obstacle of communication? I am glad to hear your thoughts!